It appears, if you’re a dude who drinks craft beer, you’re destined to have a beard. You might as well embrace it and work on stroking your chin as you sample hoppy goodness.
You will begin to engage in line waiting oneupmanship! Hearing someone say “Well, I drove 100 miles to blablabida brewery and had to wait in line for five hours before I got my growler filled,” and finding yourself nodding with enthusiasm and replying with your own tale of line waiting woes somehow seems totally fine.
One day, you may wake up and you will find a trucker hat is suddenly fused to your skull. Don’t ask questions, it’s easier to just accept it and move on.
You find yourself saying things like “mouth feel,” in a non-sexual way and finding it to be an acceptable thing to say in conversation.
When you frequent a restaurant that has an abysmal craft beer selection and you find yourself saying in a cranky way “I guess I’ll just have water, then” as you sulk a little in the corner.
As you wash and dry your dishes, you slowly realize that your glasses are entirely made up of pint glasses from breweries and tastings. You shrug, and struggle to find a place to put them all in the cabinet.
You start working out just to compensate for the increased calorie consumption.
You convince yourself that you too are a master brewer, even though you used a kit that one time, which may or may not have blown up in the basement. You start to daydream about quitting your job and being the next great craft brewer.
You scoff at the idea that other people aren’t as into craft beer and view it as a challenge to bring them to the dark side. You enthusiastically offer running commentary on the wonders of craft beer and the variety of choices. You cry and rock in the shower if they still decide that they like Bud Light.
You put more thought into the description of the beer’s fruity flavor that you’re holding as you update your Untappd account than you do your own personal financial plan or updating your will.
What else do you want to add? Comment below! Drink responsibly and cheers!